Are you being who you really are?

The person you really are?

You know, there are moments in time where something happens or you experience something that changes everything. Something that hits home in a way that just flips the script. Then suddenly you see things differently. 

I think we all start out with a sense of wonderment and awe that enables us to go at life as excited, enthusiastic little beings who are hungry to learn and play and experience life everyday in a way that causes us to wake up pumped about literally everything.

We’re willing, open and ready for whatever the day brings. We smile a lot, laugh and approach everything with an innocence that simply makes our days fun.

But things happen. Life changes. And the fun-loving, honest, open part of us has to be on guard and watch his step. With time, he comes to believe he’s not entirely welcome. Then other parts of us step in and make sure he doesn’t show up at the wrong times or in wrong ways, knowing that if he does things won’t go well.

You may have heard these conversations in your head. Where one part of you says, “Hey, you need to have a little fun. Nothing wrong with that. Just relax”. And the other part of you says, “Don’t be such a loser. You know better than that!” 

And it gets worse. The convo turns into an all out fight. And it’s miserable. There’s guilt, accusation, resentment, hiding, and blaming. ALL the time. It has quite an effect on you. Life loses its luster. You’re living under a cloud. It’s painful and it’s no fun. Before long you’re not the person you started out being.

For me, this scenario was ongoing. I hated it. I wanted it to change. So much that there began to be a weird sense of openness that seemed to creep back into my mind. An openness that at times replaced the defensiveness. 

And then it happened. My wife said to me in one of those moments, “You’re not being who you are. You’re not being the man I married.”

That said, at the right moment, in the right way, changed everything. She was right. I wasn’t being who I am. I knew that. And it made me want something different. Oh I knew things weren’t right long before that. I just hadn’t really been open to what it might take for things to change. But then she said that.

Boom. I wasn’t being who I really am. Of all things, I want to be authentic, honest, open, and willing. Not the hard-headed, unreasonable, ass-hat I was being. And that became a breakthrough moment for me. Finally, I was willing and open for something, anything, that might change things for me.

I keep writing and sending these things out because I know—no, I believe—you will be open and willing once the right thing happens or is said to you. When it does happen, you’ll be open to it. Deep down you know that what all of us really want is for you to be your true self. And so do you. The one we know and love. And I’ll be here once that happens. 

Tim

PS—If you haven’t been over to my site, please do. And sign up for more letters and news. And do schedule a call, whether that’s because you’re ready for change or simply want to talk about things. Maybe you’re dealing with someone you love who’s struggling and you need help navigating those waters. Either way, I’m here for you.